Removing struggle by simply being present

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lifestyle-59-of-104Emotionally I’ve been struggling today with the heavy weight of uncertainty around work, relationships, money and my career.

Throughout the day I’ve been aware of my thoughts that have been weighing me down.

Frustration that I’ve yet to find work and the ongoing draining process in applying. Regret around leaving my last job that I was bored with, that now seems ideal.

Worry regarding lack of communication in a new relationship. Concern around money and the possibility of needing to borrow and self doubt around my ability to pursue my dreams.

When my mind gets all worked up with worry ( consumed with past thoughts or future predictions that aren’t actually helpful ) thankfully through practicing mindfulness, I know that in order to feel better, I just need to pull myself back to the present moment.

I need to stop, breathe and just be.

Through being present, I was able to bring some much needed calm back to my mind and body.

I was able to create space, to allow the nurturing part of my spirit to give guidance, which informed me to grab a pen, notebook and just write.

As I wrote whatever came to mind, I began to notice a particular pattern in regards to my thoughts. Most of the things I was worrying or frustrated about was simply a thought that had an attachment to a particular outcome taking place.

When I realised that all I needed to do was let go of mental attachment, that’s when the emotional shift started to take place.

I gained clarity around the notion that whatever happened in the past, is in the past, which means it’s no good to me now. And whatever is about to happen in the future, I can’t predict, so there is no point in having an attachment to the outcome.

What I can do though is focus on the now, the present, the only thing that is ever real.

And when I take a moment to just be, breathe, let go of negative thoughts and tune in to my body, I notice feelings of peace, trust, support, hope and love… giving me all that I need. 🙂

How to avoid an anxiety attack when updating your profile pic!

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Do you ever experience mild symptoms of a panic attack when updating your profile picture on Facebook?

After you hit send, your heart starts beating faster, palms slightly sweaty, mind racing with preconceived ideas of how it will be judged now that it’s out there for all to see?

I noticed this today when uploading a new photo, and I was really taken back by how one simple task could have such a massive impact on my emotions and sensations in the body.

And the reason it did wasn’t because of the task itself, selecting a photo and hitting the send button is not physically demanding, it’s the thought process behind it, that’s what always causes all the drama!

As soon as I hit send, unconsciously my body started reacting to my thoughts as they were mainly based around worry and fear.

What will my friends think, will they like it or hate it?

Am I not smiling enough, should I pick a different photo even though I like this one?

Is wearing black a depressing colour, should I upload a photo of me wearing a lighter top instead?

And off my thoughts go, rather than just enjoying the present moment, feeling calm and happy, my thoughts want to create all this stress and drama… that’s if I allow them to, this is the big difference!

Emotions you feel in the body are always an after effect of a thought that takes place in your mind. For example if you think happy thoughts, you feel good. If you think negative thoughts, you feel bad. Simple psychology 101.

Having an awareness of your thoughts is what then helps you manage how you feel. Simply put, if you don’t get caught up in your thoughts, you won’t get caught up in your emotions.

As soon as I noticed my body reacting in a way that didn’t feel comfortable at all, I took a moment to become aware of my thoughts.

As I noticed my mind getting caught up with negative self talk, I took a deep breath, allowed my body to relax and then smiled.

Smiling is my new favourite thing to do whenever I notice that I’m reacting to my negative mind. What it does is magic, it tricks the mind in to thinking you are happy, which then helps the thought process to change.

As soon as I make myself smile, I then want to laugh. When I laugh at myself I realise how ridiculous my mind can get, especially when doing the simplest of tasks, like uploading a photo on Facebook.

When I smile, it brings me back to a feeling of love. Love for who I am.

My mind then thinks positive thoughts, ‘You look beautiful Camille’, ‘You are doing so well with everything at the moment, you should feel proud of yourself’, ‘Your friends will love you regardless of your FB photo, because that’s what friends do’.

When my thoughts become kind, my body feels relaxed and at ease.

If you ever find your mind and heart racing due to anxiety and fear, try to smile.

It’s a simple, yet powerful tool to bring you back to a feeling of love. 🙂

Overcoming anxiety when dating!

dating-2Since returning from India, without any effort at all, I have attracted a number of men into my life who have shown romantic interest in me, some new, some from the past.

Due to my current unemployed ‘in between careers’ status, I actually had no desire or intention of dating anyone for awhile, but… in choosing to live life in flow, being 100% open to whatever comes my way, a few days ago I said yes to a date next week, out of curiosity to see where it goes.

The thing I find about dating is this, it can be rather shit if you let it be! Lets take a simple text message for an example.

This morning I had this desire to send a text to the guy I am seeing next week, just a simple text message wishing him a nice day. But rather than feeling good about my choice in doing so, trusting that my heart had good intentions and to just go with it, instead I quickly noticed the fear kick in.

It went a little something like this… Is it too early to send a text since we only spoke two days ago?

Am I breaking the rules by sending a text, should I instead let him chase me?

Would he freak out getting a text from me so early on a Sunday morning, thinking maybe I was obsessed with him?

A whole lot of bullshit fear came rushing in, taking over my beautiful idea of simply sending a loving thought to him.

This feeling of fear took over the feeling of love. I noticed it also brought up my past feelings of shame and regret from when I had put myself out there and then didn’t get a response, especially within a time frame I wanted ( which for me is always straight away! )

Having these old beliefs, ideas, expectations is what makes dating hard. But it shouldn’t be hard, you should be able to enjoy it!

So to enjoy dating, you need to let go of the fear and expectation and put the focus back on love, especially loving yourself.

Rather than freaking out and telling yourself you are not good enough because he hasn’t responded to your message, tell yourself that you are perfect, beautiful and the most lovable person on this planet!

Don’t waste a moment worrying about it, get on with living the amazing life you were put on this planet to live.

Your true being will attract the right soul for you, so it’s all good, there is honestly nothing to worry about as long as you stay 100% true to yourself!

When you let the fear and anxiety in, the love diminishes. Don’t let another person make you forget that your true being is pure love.

Be aware of the feelings and emotions arise in the body, sit with them, connect to the negative thoughts and observe how stupid they are!

Tell yourself that you are love, your true being is love and love attracts love. Take some time to meditate on this, connecting with the inner part of yourself that is wise, strong, beautiful and courageous.

Never feel shame around showing love to others, even if you don’t receive it back. Keep loving everything that you do, enjoy the feeling, enjoy the moments, life is to be enjoyed, enjoy life!

PS. He did send me a message back ( within an hour ) and it was all good 🙂