Be your own guru!

A photo by Greg Rakozy. having a new experience, every day, for 30 days boost creativity?

This is the question I wanted to find out when I set myself this challenge 30 days ago. Will I feel more insightful? Will ideas flow more freely? Will good things take place? Will the challenge improved my mental and emotional wellbeing? Will I feel happier? Will I gain more clarity?

Honestly… the answer to all of these questions is YES!

When I started this challenge, I’m not going to lie, there was an element of pressure that I felt in trying to find something new each day to experience.

But after a week in, when it came to picking something, I realised that new experiences were not hard to find, they happen every day without much effort at all, all you need is awareness.

Over the last 30 days, I do feel like I have become a lot more insightful, I’ve definitely learnt more about who I am.

I feel a lot more self aware, a lot more in tune with what has been holding me back, what I need to change ( in my mind ) to consciously grow in to a happier, more loving human being.

More than anything, this challenge has made me become more aware of how I am living. Becoming a witness to what’s happening in my day to day, rather than taking it for granted, has actually inspired me!

I’ve learnt that every day, every new experience can offer something positive, it all comes down to your mindset, how you choose to see the world, glass half empty or half full sort of thing, the choice is always ( and only ) yours.

So if you are feeling uncertain, unhappy, I highly recommend taking the simply action of becoming more aware of what you are experiencing in your day to day. Take some time to reflect at the end of each day ( meditation or journal writing is awesome for this! ).

Maybe start your own personal challenge for 7 days, and write down your thoughts and feelings and see what comes up, you might learn something new about yourself, that changes everything!

By becoming a witness to life, each new experience becomes a lesson that will teach you something about who you are.

Being mindful will help you grow, it will connect you with your unique being, the limitless love that you have within you, pure conscious awareness, your own inner guru! 🙂

Removing struggle by simply being present


lifestyle-59-of-104Emotionally I’ve been struggling today with the heavy weight of uncertainty around work, relationships, money and my career.

Throughout the day I’ve been aware of my thoughts that have been weighing me down.

Frustration that I’ve yet to find work and the ongoing draining process in applying. Regret around leaving my last job that I was bored with, that now seems ideal.

Worry regarding lack of communication in a new relationship. Concern around money and the possibility of needing to borrow and self doubt around my ability to pursue my dreams.

When my mind gets all worked up with worry ( consumed with past thoughts or future predictions that aren’t actually helpful ) thankfully through practicing mindfulness, I know that in order to feel better, I just need to pull myself back to the present moment.

I need to stop, breathe and just be.

Through being present, I was able to bring some much needed calm back to my mind and body.

I was able to create space, to allow the nurturing part of my spirit to give guidance, which informed me to grab a pen, notebook and just write.

As I wrote whatever came to mind, I began to notice a particular pattern in regards to my thoughts. Most of the things I was worrying or frustrated about was simply a thought that had an attachment to a particular outcome taking place.

When I realised that all I needed to do was let go of mental attachment, that’s when the emotional shift started to take place.

I gained clarity around the notion that whatever happened in the past, is in the past, which means it’s no good to me now. And whatever is about to happen in the future, I can’t predict, so there is no point in having an attachment to the outcome.

What I can do though is focus on the now, the present, the only thing that is ever real.

And when I take a moment to just be, breathe, let go of negative thoughts and tune in to my body, I notice feelings of peace, trust, support, hope and love… giving me all that I need. 🙂

Put down the sugar… it’s going to be ok

sugarYesterday my food and lifestyle choices weren’t the best, ok lets be honest, they were the worst they have been this year!

I could have easily avoided consuming way too much food and sugar, but due to feeling incredibly tired, run down, bored and frustrated, I went with Plan B!

My Ego loves Plan B, it means it can eat whatever it wants ( usually highly processed food ), skip yoga, not exercise, avoid study, be super lazy and watch TV.

When I woke up yesterday morning, I knew something wasn’t right, my mood was flat, I felt like I had burnt the candle at both ends.

And it makes sense, looking at my calendar, for the last 6 nights, I’d been out every night socialising with different friends.

I had pushed myself both physically and mentally, eating rich food, consuming alcohol, not getting enough sleep, starting a new job and leaving no free time to be on my own to recharge, it was inevitable that my mood would suffer as a consequence!

Looking back on it, now in a positive head space, yesterday I deliberately ignored all the warning signs that lead me to revert back to old ways of destructive thinking and behaving.

Rather than meditate that morning to gain wisdom on how to be loving towards myself, I slept in.

Rather than cycle to work which would have given me a big fat injection of serotonin ( happy chemicals ) to improve my mood, I drove my car.

Rather than make a healthy lunch knowing that when I am tired I always crave sugar, so best to be prepared, I ended up buying processed food.

Rather than go to yoga knowing that it always helps me feel more grounded and balanced, I sat on the couch and watched TV.

Sometimes we have these ‘not so good’ days, and you know what, it’s ok, we’re not perfect! Having an awareness of the choices and actions you make is what stops the destructive behaviour in the future and allows positive change to take place.

Before being self aware, I would unconsciously self sabotage my health and wellbeing for days!

I would continue to act out in ways that weren’t loving towards my body and mind, constantly craving things externally for happiness, rather than loving who I was.

I simply just needed to stop, breathe and tune in, allowing my body to rest, allowing my mind to safely process whatever was going on!

Most of the time we know exactly what is good for us, yet sometimes we have days where we choose to go with Plan B instead. For me, I know that when I take on too much, my internal battery loses power very quickly, and its super important that I don’t ignore the flashing red light!

When my mind tells me to make good choices for my body, I need to listen and act accordingly, not ignore it, which is what I did today.

By choosing to do what is best, meditate, cycle to work, eat healthy, have time to myself, take a long hot bath, I’m choosing to love who i am.

When you choose to love who you are, you choose to love life! And when you choose to love life, the sugar cravings fade. x

Being certain of uncertainty

lifestyle-75-of-104-copyWhen retuning from India, a couple of months ago, I felt pretty certain that my life would become beautifully balanced, easily achieving everything I wanted.

I’d spend a small amount of my savings on making my dream business a reality.

I’d work part time for a creative, ethical based company doing administration and I’d teach meditation part time for a well known, non for profit organisation.

I’d be living the dream! Well my dream anyway. 

In the last few months, its become very apparent that my dream wasn’t what the Universe wanted. Instead its taken my idea and varied it slightly, well more like injected it with steroids! 

I’ve now spent a large amount of my savings on making my dream business a reality, investing in multiple online courses for both business and coaching.

I’ve just recently accepted full time work as an administrator back in Education ( even though I said, after quitting my job, that I wouldn’t go back to a school… or work full time for someone else, my intuition said yes )

AND on top of that, I just got confirmation today that next month I’ll be teaching weekly meditation classes ( my own style ) at a local yoga studio in Melbourne, which seriously makes my heart light up!

So no surprise really, that my mind feels a bit overwhelmed today! Have I over estimated my capability as a human being, taking on way too much?

Will I still be able to catch up with friends, attend yoga classes, read a book, possibly date someone AND most importantly, have time to be on my own to just chill?

Or is everything exactly how it’s meant to be, right in this very moment and I just need to trust the process, be grateful and smile! 🙂

In all honesty it’s a lot more than I had anticipated, however if you read my blog you know I love a good challenge! Surely I can work full time, teach meditation classes, plus complete multiple online courses all within the the next 6-12 months without having some sort of melt down?

Human beings all over the world juggle full time work, whilst trying to create their dream business, and most have a couple kids and a partner, at least I’m single and free to do as I please! 

Being Self Aware is learning to not have an attachment to certainty, but instead being a witness to life as it constantly unfolds and changes.

This is why I love Meditation, it not only helps you calm down but it brings you back to a state of pure awareness.

Reminding you that every moment, feeling, thought, emotion, always passes if we simple just observe, let go and just be.

And in each breathe, in the stillness, even when life gets crazy, you always find peace. x

Delete the list of Rules!

A photo by Luis Llerena. can I do TODAY in order to love WHO I AM? This is the question I ask myself every morning before I start the day. It’s a simple question, that for me has been life changing, which is why I wanted to share it with you!

For decades I have never asked myself this simple question, instead I went about my day, operating on old thought and belief systems that involved A LOT of future planning ( mainly around trying to fix myself ) in order to be happy.

Some past examples of this

  • Making RULES around exercising every day after work, no excuses, don’t be LAZY!
  • Making RULES around what I ate, no sugar, no carbs, no booze, all VERY BAD FOR YOU!
  • Making RULES around getting my ass to at least 2 yoga classes, don’t WASTE your monthly membership!
  • Making RULES around how much time spent on Facebook & watching TV, an hour a day is enough, don’t waste your time STARING AT A SCREEN!
  • Making RULES around meditating for 20 mins twice a day, if you don’t, you’re NOT SPIRITUAL ENOUGH and shouldn’t be a meditation teacher!

Wow, just reading that list makes me feel soooo exhausted, no wonder I used to feel anxious and frustrated with myself all the time, I had so many expectations to live up to in order to be ‘happy’!

So here is whats changed, rather than future planning every aspect of my life, I now simply focus on what I need to do TODAY in order to be 100% authentic and happy! BOOM! LIFE CHANGING!

By focusing just on TODAY, all the stress and anxiety I had around my life has dissolved away! Life has become WAY more manageable. I feel so happy and loved, and am continually amazed at all the wonderful things that happen to me EVERY DAY, simply by choosing to live this way!

So here is my advice, take your weekly, monthly list of RULES and DELETE, DELETE, DELETE!

Instead start your day with 1 simple question- What can I do TODAY to LOVE WHO I AM?

To get the answer- close your eyes, breathe and take a few moments to let go of all the negative crap and wait patiently for the positive, helpful stuff to rise ( this is called Self Awareness/mindfulness/meditation ). Then write down the first 2 or 3 helpful things that come to mind, and make that your focus for today. SIMPLE!

This could still include, go for a walk, have a healthy day of eating, get your ass to a yoga class. But if you FEEL, in order to LOVE who you are, this is what you need to do TODAY, then you are much more inclined to do it with a smile on your face! 🙂

Don’t worry about what you need or should be doing in the future in order to be happy, that sh*t is stressful, especially seeing the future is never certain due to life constantly changing!!

Love who you are! Enjoy today!

Be happy! Have fun! Enjoy the ride! x

Ditching my grumpy pants!

lifestyle-3-of-104When I woke up this morning I felt really run down, similar to a hangover but without booze, not much energy, a bit moody, if I was employed, I would have wanted to call in sick.

Why had I woken up feeling this way when other days I had woken up feeling great? What was really going on, what was I really feeling, really thinking?

In the past I would have just accepted feeling shitty, blamed it on work or how I looked, ate crap foods to feel better, and waited for it to pass, which sometimes took up to 3 days.

But then I remembered that my true nature, within me, is not grumpy pants, my true nature, within me, is love.

So I sat in bed and took a moment to become a witness to what was going on within me, witness my thoughts and emotions. By doing this I quickly noticed that there was a huge amount of doubt and fear around my capability, the classic ‘I am not good enough, so what’s the point!’

I noticed I felt hopeless, like maybe I was over my head with creating my own business, attempting to make my dreams a reality.

I noticed that I felt useless, I felt lost and I felt alone.

Limiting thoughts and beliefs, all within me, draining my energy, making me feel shit about myself.

So rather than stay home in bed and help my Ego put together a pity party, I jumped on my bike and cycled to a creative, communal office space ( which has a meditation room ), giving myself the space to allow conscious flow.

When I meditated in this space this morning, I was able to dedicate more time to dive deeper into how I was really feeling. Closing the eyes, I was able to become a witness again to any thoughts and feelings that arose.

Once again the thought ‘I feel so alone’ came to mind, but this time I noticed tears building up in my eyes. I had no idea that I felt such deep sadness around this one simple thought.

So how do you stop a negative thought that feels so real? You don’t, you just allow time to sit with it, don’t try to suppress it or ignore it, just be a loving witness, until it passes. And it always passes. No thought is ever permanent, they are constantly changing.

This is what meditation allows you to do, be awareness of your thoughts as they rise and fall. This is why meditation is such an awesome tool to help overcome depression, stress and anxiety.

Rather than get caught up in emotions, you just watch them, let them do what they need to do, and notice that you are actually separate from them. You are all good 🙂

Your true nature is not your thoughts or beliefs, but simply loving self awareness watching the show.


Overcoming anxiety when dating!

dating-2Since returning from India, without any effort at all, I have attracted a number of men into my life who have shown romantic interest in me, some new, some from the past.

Due to my current unemployed ‘in between careers’ status, I actually had no desire or intention of dating anyone for awhile, but… in choosing to live life in flow, being 100% open to whatever comes my way, a few days ago I said yes to a date next week, out of curiosity to see where it goes.

The thing I find about dating is this, it can be rather shit if you let it be! Lets take a simple text message for an example.

This morning I had this desire to send a text to the guy I am seeing next week, just a simple text message wishing him a nice day. But rather than feeling good about my choice in doing so, trusting that my heart had good intentions and to just go with it, instead I quickly noticed the fear kick in.

It went a little something like this… Is it too early to send a text since we only spoke two days ago?

Am I breaking the rules by sending a text, should I instead let him chase me?

Would he freak out getting a text from me so early on a Sunday morning, thinking maybe I was obsessed with him?

A whole lot of bullshit fear came rushing in, taking over my beautiful idea of simply sending a loving thought to him.

This feeling of fear took over the feeling of love. I noticed it also brought up my past feelings of shame and regret from when I had put myself out there and then didn’t get a response, especially within a time frame I wanted ( which for me is always straight away! )

Having these old beliefs, ideas, expectations is what makes dating hard. But it shouldn’t be hard, you should be able to enjoy it!

So to enjoy dating, you need to let go of the fear and expectation and put the focus back on love, especially loving yourself.

Rather than freaking out and telling yourself you are not good enough because he hasn’t responded to your message, tell yourself that you are perfect, beautiful and the most lovable person on this planet!

Don’t waste a moment worrying about it, get on with living the amazing life you were put on this planet to live.

Your true being will attract the right soul for you, so it’s all good, there is honestly nothing to worry about as long as you stay 100% true to yourself!

When you let the fear and anxiety in, the love diminishes. Don’t let another person make you forget that your true being is pure love.

Be aware of the feelings and emotions arise in the body, sit with them, connect to the negative thoughts and observe how stupid they are!

Tell yourself that you are love, your true being is love and love attracts love. Take some time to meditate on this, connecting with the inner part of yourself that is wise, strong, beautiful and courageous.

Never feel shame around showing love to others, even if you don’t receive it back. Keep loving everything that you do, enjoy the feeling, enjoy the moments, life is to be enjoyed, enjoy life!

PS. He did send me a message back ( within an hour ) and it was all good 🙂