What lights you up?

lifestyle-25-of-104-copy-3What are you truely passionate about, what is your purpose?

We seem to get asked this question a lot these days, and I understand why, knowing the answer is what motivates happiness and success.

Tonight I attended a group workshop run by Collection Potential, a Melbourne based self development social enterprise committed to helping people create the change they want to see.

Part of the experience, was being guided to connect and sharing honestly with strangers, pushing through vulnerability. Questions we asked each other, once paired up, was ‘What lights you up?’ over and over again, then followed by ‘ What doesn’t light you up?’

This new experience of answering these two simple questions, openly with someone i’ve never met before, made me realise that thankfully, I am very aware of what lights me up.

However it also seems that what doesn’t, all my doubts and fears around my own capabilities, is what is holding me back from truely living my life.

Tonight a complete stranger, who I had only spoken to for around 30 minutes, shared with me that he felt it was a privilege to have spoken to me and that he could see me being very successful at all that I wanted to achieve. Awww.. nice hey?

Connection, being real, believing in yourself, loving who you are…that’s what lights me up!

So…what lights you up? I’d love to hear from you x

Removing struggle by simply being present

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lifestyle-59-of-104Emotionally I’ve been struggling today with the heavy weight of uncertainty around work, relationships, money and my career.

Throughout the day I’ve been aware of my thoughts that have been weighing me down.

Frustration that I’ve yet to find work and the ongoing draining process in applying. Regret around leaving my last job that I was bored with, that now seems ideal.

Worry regarding lack of communication in a new relationship. Concern around money and the possibility of needing to borrow and self doubt around my ability to pursue my dreams.

When my mind gets all worked up with worry ( consumed with past thoughts or future predictions that aren’t actually helpful ) thankfully through practicing mindfulness, I know that in order to feel better, I just need to pull myself back to the present moment.

I need to stop, breathe and just be.

Through being present, I was able to bring some much needed calm back to my mind and body.

I was able to create space, to allow the nurturing part of my spirit to give guidance, which informed me to grab a pen, notebook and just write.

As I wrote whatever came to mind, I began to notice a particular pattern in regards to my thoughts. Most of the things I was worrying or frustrated about was simply a thought that had an attachment to a particular outcome taking place.

When I realised that all I needed to do was let go of mental attachment, that’s when the emotional shift started to take place.

I gained clarity around the notion that whatever happened in the past, is in the past, which means it’s no good to me now. And whatever is about to happen in the future, I can’t predict, so there is no point in having an attachment to the outcome.

What I can do though is focus on the now, the present, the only thing that is ever real.

And when I take a moment to just be, breathe, let go of negative thoughts and tune in to my body, I notice feelings of peace, trust, support, hope and love… giving me all that I need. 🙂

Top tips for Mindful Dating

mindful-datingI used to find dating an incredibly anxious and stressful experience, because I would hand over my self worth to a man I’d just met, rather than value and love who I am!

During my dates rather than enjoying myself, my mind would be obsessing over the outfit I’d chosen, worrying about whether he finds me attractive and if he even liked what I was saying.

My mind would also try and figure out if my date was ticking enough boxes, could I see us together in 5 years, is there any chemistry, what if he tries to make a move and I’m not interested, what if I am interested and he rejects me… etc etc.

The reason I am saying all of this is because lately I’ve started dating again ( thank you Tinder ) and due to now being more self aware, living more mindfully, I’ve been experiencing dating in a completely new way.

Walking in to every date without any expectation of the future, focusing on just being present, loving who I am, being myself, having fun, has been a very positive experience, not just for me but also my date.

If you want to remove stress, anxiety, worry and concern from your dating experience, here are a few mindful dating tips to remember

  • Love who you are! Before you leave the house stand in front of the mirror and remind yourself that you are beautiful, wise, kind, fabulous, sexy, funny and extremely loveable! Remind yourself that you are not going on the date to get the guy’s approval, you already know that you are awesome, you are going on the date to get to know someone new and have fun!
  • Be mindful of your thoughts and don’t believe anything that pops up that is negative or unhelpful, remind yourself that your true essence is love!
  • Be yourself, be authentic, value your uniqueness, it’s what makes you one of a kind!
  • Ask lots of questions and listen, engage with the other person, learn something new from what they are sharing, you’re there to get to know your date, the more questions the better!
  • Smile, not only is smiling addictive, but it will release endorphins which will make you feel even more happy!

And most importantly…

Have fun!!

Dating should be enjoyable, so whenever you notice your mind wandering, getting caught up in the future, take a deep breathe and come back to the present. Where life truely unfolds 🙂

How to avoid panic when getting lost

bush.jpegI went for a bush walk today, on my own, with no one around, and I got lost!

When I realised after a few of hours of walking, that I wasn’t back at the start ( where I should have been ), my stomach did a triple back flip and my heart started racing!

Thank god for GPS on my mobile phone, quickly I was able to see that I was only about a 20 min walk from where I started, which did help calm the flight or fight survival default mode in my brain.

I actually had thought that there was a chance I would never be found, and then I would starve or die of thirst because I hadn’t carried any food or water with me. How ridiculous is that?!

Through being more self aware, I now know that my mind loves to jump to highly stressful, worse case situations, whenever life throws me a spanner.

But the great news is, the more times I am able to take a moment to stop, breathe, and just witness my thoughts when feeling worried, the easier it is for me to quickly avoid panic and feel A OK!

How to stay calm when life doesn’t go your way

lifestyle-96-of-104-copyI had a moment of panic this morning, which never feels nice!

In the past when a flatmate moves out, it’s normally at least a week before a new person moves in, not a few hours, which is what I experienced today.

The plan was that by 11am the first flatmate would have moved out so that by 11.30am the new flatmate could move in ( tight i know ). In theory it was a great idea, but at 10.45am when the first flatmate hadn’t shown up to move any of her stuff, I started to have a mild panic attack, i felt a bit stressed!

As soon as I started to become aware that I was feeling anxious about the situation, I toke a moment to observe the thoughts racing around in my head.

Being aware that my mind was getting in to a panic about all the possible worst case scenarios, I took a deep breathe, and calmly asked myself, ok, what can I do in this very moment, that will help me best?

I picked up my phone, sent a text to the first flatmate to get an update on her time frame ( which was 30 mins away ), then sent a text to the second flatmate who advises me she is now running late and is 2 hours away, phew!!

So after all of that worry, there was no drama in the end, it all worked out without me having to do much, other than simply be cool, calm and communicate.

Such a good reminder that life doesn’t always do what you want it to do, this happens to me frequently, so there is no need to stress.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again… don’t worry, be happy, it all works out in the end. 🙂

Why forgiveness is so powerful

kindessThis morning I woke up to a message on Facebook from a past friend who I’d experienced a very hurtful falling out with a few years ago.

Up until this day, he is the only person in my life who I had unresolved conflict with, so to receive such heartfelt words of kindness and gratitude for the friendship journey we once shared together, brought a tear to my eye.

I honestly never expected to hear from him again. The last words he spoke to me hurt me to such a degree that pretending that he no longer existed, was the only way I knew of to avoid feeling emotional discomfort and pain.

This morning I am grateful that he reached out to break the silence, as it made me aware that emotional pain never leaves the body if past thoughts of hurt still remain there.

Trying to pretend something no longer exists, practicing avoidance, doesn’t make the pain disappear, it just hides within you somewhere.

Today I experienced that forgiveness is the only thing that removes the stubborn ‘pain’ stains from past, and to do this, all it takes is a simple choice that you make. You choose to let go of the past and simply forgive in the present moment.

I wanted to share my experience of forgiveness today, in the hope that if you are reading this and have unresolved conflict with someone, reach out, say sorry, send love.

Our true nature is not to feel anger or hurt, our true nature is to feel love and kindness. Our true nature is Love.

Stroke of Insight!

When it comes to your mind are you a lefty or a righty?

Not sure? Well neither was I until I came across a brilliant TED talk by brain scientist Jill Bolte Taylor called ‘My Stroke of Insight’.

In the TED talk she explains how the right hemisphere of the brain connects us with the present moment, hearing, seeing, tasting, smelling, touching, all energy that’s shared with the whole of the universe, infinite, expansive, perfect, beautiful.

While the left hemisphere of the brain operates using language and logic, taking the present moment sensory data, and then trying to organise it using past thoughts to forecast possible future outcomes. Creating this sense of I AM, being seperate from everyone and everything.

Having watched this TED talk for the first time, this new experience has given me insight in to how I use my own mind.

I learnt I have a choice, I can chose to spend more time using the right hemisphere. By doing so, I can tap in to the life force of the universe, feeling an abundance of love, peace and creativity!

Feeling a sense of connection to every living being.

If you have 19mins and want to learn more, please enjoy watching the full talk below. 🙂