Removing struggle by simply being present


lifestyle-59-of-104Emotionally I’ve been struggling today with the heavy weight of uncertainty around work, relationships, money and my career.

Throughout the day I’ve been aware of my thoughts that have been weighing me down.

Frustration that I’ve yet to find work and the ongoing draining process in applying. Regret around leaving my last job that I was bored with, that now seems ideal.

Worry regarding lack of communication in a new relationship. Concern around money and the possibility of needing to borrow and self doubt around my ability to pursue my dreams.

When my mind gets all worked up with worry ( consumed with past thoughts or future predictions that aren’t actually helpful ) thankfully through practicing mindfulness, I know that in order to feel better, I just need to pull myself back to the present moment.

I need to stop, breathe and just be.

Through being present, I was able to bring some much needed calm back to my mind and body.

I was able to create space, to allow the nurturing part of my spirit to give guidance, which informed me to grab a pen, notebook and just write.

As I wrote whatever came to mind, I began to notice a particular pattern in regards to my thoughts. Most of the things I was worrying or frustrated about was simply a thought that had an attachment to a particular outcome taking place.

When I realised that all I needed to do was let go of mental attachment, that’s when the emotional shift started to take place.

I gained clarity around the notion that whatever happened in the past, is in the past, which means it’s no good to me now. And whatever is about to happen in the future, I can’t predict, so there is no point in having an attachment to the outcome.

What I can do though is focus on the now, the present, the only thing that is ever real.

And when I take a moment to just be, breathe, let go of negative thoughts and tune in to my body, I notice feelings of peace, trust, support, hope and love… giving me all that I need. 🙂

Stroke of Insight!

When it comes to your mind are you a lefty or a righty?

Not sure? Well neither was I until I came across a brilliant TED talk by brain scientist Jill Bolte Taylor called ‘My Stroke of Insight’.

In the TED talk she explains how the right hemisphere of the brain connects us with the present moment, hearing, seeing, tasting, smelling, touching, all energy that’s shared with the whole of the universe, infinite, expansive, perfect, beautiful.

While the left hemisphere of the brain operates using language and logic, taking the present moment sensory data, and then trying to organise it using past thoughts to forecast possible future outcomes. Creating this sense of I AM, being seperate from everyone and everything.

Having watched this TED talk for the first time, this new experience has given me insight in to how I use my own mind.

I learnt I have a choice, I can chose to spend more time using the right hemisphere. By doing so, I can tap in to the life force of the universe, feeling an abundance of love, peace and creativity!

Feeling a sense of connection to every living being.

If you have 19mins and want to learn more, please enjoy watching the full talk below. 🙂

Can having a new experience each day make you more creative?

lifestyle-19-of-104-copyLatest research is that new experiences boost creativity. They create more flexibility in the mind, which then stimulates more  of those ‘light bulb’ moments we crave!

To gain more creative insight in the mind, the scientific experts recommend doing any form of activity that allows the mind to wander freely. Activities like taking long walks, freestyle writing, listening to music, creative projects, yoga, meditation and even daydreaming ( something I did loads of when I was a kid ).

They also suggest to be more social, exercise, sit in a coffee shop, spend time outdoors and try something new! Sit outside a box ( literally ) and look for unexpected experiences!

Lately I’ve been procrastinating BIG TIME on my course work, due to a lack of ideas, and my health has been rubbish, which is why I feel a ’30 Day New Experience Challenge’ is exactly what I need to get the creative juices flowing again!

So what are the rules? For the next 30 days, I just need to experience a new experience every day.

I want to discover if stepping outside my comfort zone has any effect on my mental wellbeing?

Will good things take place, will more ideas flow, will my health improve, will I feel happier and gain more mental clarity?

Can having new experiences every day boost creativity? Watch this space in 30 days! 🙂

How to deal with being stood up!

A photo by Matthew Wiebe. experienced a no show today, yep, I got stood up.

A woman who had agreed to come look at my flat at 4pm, didn’t turn up, ignored my phone call, and chose to not respond to my text.

Prior to that, our communication had been super friendly, we had both agreed on the time, we even exchanged smiley face emojis when messaging each other, so I honestly have no idea what went wrong?!

As I type this, I still have no evidence of why she disappeared off the face of the earth. But my mind couldn’t help thinking, seriously how rude is this woman?!? Has she become so desensitized to people, that if a situation is no longer in her best interest, she doesn’t care at all about the other person involved?

If I make a time to meet sometime, and then for whatever reason, I can no longer make it, I would text or call and apologise in advance, or at the least, respond if the person tried to call.

Treat others how you would like to be treated, common moral courtesy, I don’t feel its a hard concept to get your head and heart around!

In the past this sort of action would have really pissed me off for hours!! But this time, being able to witness my thoughts, I was able to quickly gain control of my emotions that were very eager to get all fired up!

As soon as I could see my mind trying to come up with stories of how she was a horrible person, who was deliberately choosing to be a bitch towards me, I shut the thoughts down!

Instead I gave her 20 mins, then after hearing nothing, I grabbed my bag, jumped in the car, and got on with my day.

Trusting that there is a process in place, that is greater than me, I now have ninja mind skills to easily detach from emotional attachment to wanting things to go a certain way, my way.

I’ve learnt to accept the good or bad, whatever the case may be, and just go with flow!

This woman didn’t turn up, which means, for whatever reason we weren’t supposed to meet, and you know what, it chewed up 20 mins of my day, if that, no harm done!

By becoming more aware, I no longer let negative thoughts turn in to negative emotions, instead I simply go back to enjoying the present moment, trusting that something better is on its way! 🙂

Being certain of uncertainty

lifestyle-75-of-104-copyWhen retuning from India, a couple of months ago, I felt pretty certain that my life would become beautifully balanced, easily achieving everything I wanted.

I’d spend a small amount of my savings on making my dream business a reality.

I’d work part time for a creative, ethical based company doing administration and I’d teach meditation part time for a well known, non for profit organisation.

I’d be living the dream! Well my dream anyway. 

In the last few months, its become very apparent that my dream wasn’t what the Universe wanted. Instead its taken my idea and varied it slightly, well more like injected it with steroids! 

I’ve now spent a large amount of my savings on making my dream business a reality, investing in multiple online courses for both business and coaching.

I’ve just recently accepted full time work as an administrator back in Education ( even though I said, after quitting my job, that I wouldn’t go back to a school… or work full time for someone else, my intuition said yes )

AND on top of that, I just got confirmation today that next month I’ll be teaching weekly meditation classes ( my own style ) at a local yoga studio in Melbourne, which seriously makes my heart light up!

So no surprise really, that my mind feels a bit overwhelmed today! Have I over estimated my capability as a human being, taking on way too much?

Will I still be able to catch up with friends, attend yoga classes, read a book, possibly date someone AND most importantly, have time to be on my own to just chill?

Or is everything exactly how it’s meant to be, right in this very moment and I just need to trust the process, be grateful and smile! 🙂

In all honesty it’s a lot more than I had anticipated, however if you read my blog you know I love a good challenge! Surely I can work full time, teach meditation classes, plus complete multiple online courses all within the the next 6-12 months without having some sort of melt down?

Human beings all over the world juggle full time work, whilst trying to create their dream business, and most have a couple kids and a partner, at least I’m single and free to do as I please! 

Being Self Aware is learning to not have an attachment to certainty, but instead being a witness to life as it constantly unfolds and changes.

This is why I love Meditation, it not only helps you calm down but it brings you back to a state of pure awareness.

Reminding you that every moment, feeling, thought, emotion, always passes if we simple just observe, let go and just be.

And in each breathe, in the stillness, even when life gets crazy, you always find peace. x

Delete the list of Rules!

A photo by Luis Llerena. can I do TODAY in order to love WHO I AM? This is the question I ask myself every morning before I start the day. It’s a simple question, that for me has been life changing, which is why I wanted to share it with you!

For decades I have never asked myself this simple question, instead I went about my day, operating on old thought and belief systems that involved A LOT of future planning ( mainly around trying to fix myself ) in order to be happy.

Some past examples of this

  • Making RULES around exercising every day after work, no excuses, don’t be LAZY!
  • Making RULES around what I ate, no sugar, no carbs, no booze, all VERY BAD FOR YOU!
  • Making RULES around getting my ass to at least 2 yoga classes, don’t WASTE your monthly membership!
  • Making RULES around how much time spent on Facebook & watching TV, an hour a day is enough, don’t waste your time STARING AT A SCREEN!
  • Making RULES around meditating for 20 mins twice a day, if you don’t, you’re NOT SPIRITUAL ENOUGH and shouldn’t be a meditation teacher!

Wow, just reading that list makes me feel soooo exhausted, no wonder I used to feel anxious and frustrated with myself all the time, I had so many expectations to live up to in order to be ‘happy’!

So here is whats changed, rather than future planning every aspect of my life, I now simply focus on what I need to do TODAY in order to be 100% authentic and happy! BOOM! LIFE CHANGING!

By focusing just on TODAY, all the stress and anxiety I had around my life has dissolved away! Life has become WAY more manageable. I feel so happy and loved, and am continually amazed at all the wonderful things that happen to me EVERY DAY, simply by choosing to live this way!

So here is my advice, take your weekly, monthly list of RULES and DELETE, DELETE, DELETE!

Instead start your day with 1 simple question- What can I do TODAY to LOVE WHO I AM?

To get the answer- close your eyes, breathe and take a few moments to let go of all the negative crap and wait patiently for the positive, helpful stuff to rise ( this is called Self Awareness/mindfulness/meditation ). Then write down the first 2 or 3 helpful things that come to mind, and make that your focus for today. SIMPLE!

This could still include, go for a walk, have a healthy day of eating, get your ass to a yoga class. But if you FEEL, in order to LOVE who you are, this is what you need to do TODAY, then you are much more inclined to do it with a smile on your face! 🙂

Don’t worry about what you need or should be doing in the future in order to be happy, that sh*t is stressful, especially seeing the future is never certain due to life constantly changing!!

Love who you are! Enjoy today!

Be happy! Have fun! Enjoy the ride! x

Ditching my grumpy pants!

lifestyle-3-of-104When I woke up this morning I felt really run down, similar to a hangover but without booze, not much energy, a bit moody, if I was employed, I would have wanted to call in sick.

Why had I woken up feeling this way when other days I had woken up feeling great? What was really going on, what was I really feeling, really thinking?

In the past I would have just accepted feeling shitty, blamed it on work or how I looked, ate crap foods to feel better, and waited for it to pass, which sometimes took up to 3 days.

But then I remembered that my true nature, within me, is not grumpy pants, my true nature, within me, is love.

So I sat in bed and took a moment to become a witness to what was going on within me, witness my thoughts and emotions. By doing this I quickly noticed that there was a huge amount of doubt and fear around my capability, the classic ‘I am not good enough, so what’s the point!’

I noticed I felt hopeless, like maybe I was over my head with creating my own business, attempting to make my dreams a reality.

I noticed that I felt useless, I felt lost and I felt alone.

Limiting thoughts and beliefs, all within me, draining my energy, making me feel shit about myself.

So rather than stay home in bed and help my Ego put together a pity party, I jumped on my bike and cycled to a creative, communal office space ( which has a meditation room ), giving myself the space to allow conscious flow.

When I meditated in this space this morning, I was able to dedicate more time to dive deeper into how I was really feeling. Closing the eyes, I was able to become a witness again to any thoughts and feelings that arose.

Once again the thought ‘I feel so alone’ came to mind, but this time I noticed tears building up in my eyes. I had no idea that I felt such deep sadness around this one simple thought.

So how do you stop a negative thought that feels so real? You don’t, you just allow time to sit with it, don’t try to suppress it or ignore it, just be a loving witness, until it passes. And it always passes. No thought is ever permanent, they are constantly changing.

This is what meditation allows you to do, be awareness of your thoughts as they rise and fall. This is why meditation is such an awesome tool to help overcome depression, stress and anxiety.

Rather than get caught up in emotions, you just watch them, let them do what they need to do, and notice that you are actually separate from them. You are all good 🙂

Your true nature is not your thoughts or beliefs, but simply loving self awareness watching the show.