Removing struggle by simply being present


lifestyle-59-of-104Emotionally I’ve been struggling today with the heavy weight of uncertainty around work, relationships, money and my career.

Throughout the day I’ve been aware of my thoughts that have been weighing me down.

Frustration that I’ve yet to find work and the ongoing draining process in applying. Regret around leaving my last job that I was bored with, that now seems ideal.

Worry regarding lack of communication in a new relationship. Concern around money and the possibility of needing to borrow and self doubt around my ability to pursue my dreams.

When my mind gets all worked up with worry ( consumed with past thoughts or future predictions that aren’t actually helpful ) thankfully through practicing mindfulness, I know that in order to feel better, I just need to pull myself back to the present moment.

I need to stop, breathe and just be.

Through being present, I was able to bring some much needed calm back to my mind and body.

I was able to create space, to allow the nurturing part of my spirit to give guidance, which informed me to grab a pen, notebook and just write.

As I wrote whatever came to mind, I began to notice a particular pattern in regards to my thoughts. Most of the things I was worrying or frustrated about was simply a thought that had an attachment to a particular outcome taking place.

When I realised that all I needed to do was let go of mental attachment, that’s when the emotional shift started to take place.

I gained clarity around the notion that whatever happened in the past, is in the past, which means it’s no good to me now. And whatever is about to happen in the future, I can’t predict, so there is no point in having an attachment to the outcome.

What I can do though is focus on the now, the present, the only thing that is ever real.

And when I take a moment to just be, breathe, let go of negative thoughts and tune in to my body, I notice feelings of peace, trust, support, hope and love… giving me all that I need. 🙂

How to avoid panic when getting lost

bush.jpegI went for a bush walk today, on my own, with no one around, and I got lost!

When I realised after a few of hours of walking, that I wasn’t back at the start ( where I should have been ), my stomach did a triple back flip and my heart started racing!

Thank god for GPS on my mobile phone, quickly I was able to see that I was only about a 20 min walk from where I started, which did help calm the flight or fight survival default mode in my brain.

I actually had thought that there was a chance I would never be found, and then I would starve or die of thirst because I hadn’t carried any food or water with me. How ridiculous is that?!

Through being more self aware, I now know that my mind loves to jump to highly stressful, worse case situations, whenever life throws me a spanner.

But the great news is, the more times I am able to take a moment to stop, breathe, and just witness my thoughts when feeling worried, the easier it is for me to quickly avoid panic and feel A OK!

How to deal with being stood up!

A photo by Matthew Wiebe. experienced a no show today, yep, I got stood up.

A woman who had agreed to come look at my flat at 4pm, didn’t turn up, ignored my phone call, and chose to not respond to my text.

Prior to that, our communication had been super friendly, we had both agreed on the time, we even exchanged smiley face emojis when messaging each other, so I honestly have no idea what went wrong?!

As I type this, I still have no evidence of why she disappeared off the face of the earth. But my mind couldn’t help thinking, seriously how rude is this woman?!? Has she become so desensitized to people, that if a situation is no longer in her best interest, she doesn’t care at all about the other person involved?

If I make a time to meet sometime, and then for whatever reason, I can no longer make it, I would text or call and apologise in advance, or at the least, respond if the person tried to call.

Treat others how you would like to be treated, common moral courtesy, I don’t feel its a hard concept to get your head and heart around!

In the past this sort of action would have really pissed me off for hours!! But this time, being able to witness my thoughts, I was able to quickly gain control of my emotions that were very eager to get all fired up!

As soon as I could see my mind trying to come up with stories of how she was a horrible person, who was deliberately choosing to be a bitch towards me, I shut the thoughts down!

Instead I gave her 20 mins, then after hearing nothing, I grabbed my bag, jumped in the car, and got on with my day.

Trusting that there is a process in place, that is greater than me, I now have ninja mind skills to easily detach from emotional attachment to wanting things to go a certain way, my way.

I’ve learnt to accept the good or bad, whatever the case may be, and just go with flow!

This woman didn’t turn up, which means, for whatever reason we weren’t supposed to meet, and you know what, it chewed up 20 mins of my day, if that, no harm done!

By becoming more aware, I no longer let negative thoughts turn in to negative emotions, instead I simply go back to enjoying the present moment, trusting that something better is on its way! 🙂

How to avoid an anxiety attack when updating your profile pic!


Do you ever experience mild symptoms of a panic attack when updating your profile picture on Facebook?

After you hit send, your heart starts beating faster, palms slightly sweaty, mind racing with preconceived ideas of how it will be judged now that it’s out there for all to see?

I noticed this today when uploading a new photo, and I was really taken back by how one simple task could have such a massive impact on my emotions and sensations in the body.

And the reason it did wasn’t because of the task itself, selecting a photo and hitting the send button is not physically demanding, it’s the thought process behind it, that’s what always causes all the drama!

As soon as I hit send, unconsciously my body started reacting to my thoughts as they were mainly based around worry and fear.

What will my friends think, will they like it or hate it?

Am I not smiling enough, should I pick a different photo even though I like this one?

Is wearing black a depressing colour, should I upload a photo of me wearing a lighter top instead?

And off my thoughts go, rather than just enjoying the present moment, feeling calm and happy, my thoughts want to create all this stress and drama… that’s if I allow them to, this is the big difference!

Emotions you feel in the body are always an after effect of a thought that takes place in your mind. For example if you think happy thoughts, you feel good. If you think negative thoughts, you feel bad. Simple psychology 101.

Having an awareness of your thoughts is what then helps you manage how you feel. Simply put, if you don’t get caught up in your thoughts, you won’t get caught up in your emotions.

As soon as I noticed my body reacting in a way that didn’t feel comfortable at all, I took a moment to become aware of my thoughts.

As I noticed my mind getting caught up with negative self talk, I took a deep breath, allowed my body to relax and then smiled.

Smiling is my new favourite thing to do whenever I notice that I’m reacting to my negative mind. What it does is magic, it tricks the mind in to thinking you are happy, which then helps the thought process to change.

As soon as I make myself smile, I then want to laugh. When I laugh at myself I realise how ridiculous my mind can get, especially when doing the simplest of tasks, like uploading a photo on Facebook.

When I smile, it brings me back to a feeling of love. Love for who I am.

My mind then thinks positive thoughts, ‘You look beautiful Camille’, ‘You are doing so well with everything at the moment, you should feel proud of yourself’, ‘Your friends will love you regardless of your FB photo, because that’s what friends do’.

When my thoughts become kind, my body feels relaxed and at ease.

If you ever find your mind and heart racing due to anxiety and fear, try to smile.

It’s a simple, yet powerful tool to bring you back to a feeling of love. 🙂

Put down the sugar… it’s going to be ok

sugarYesterday my food and lifestyle choices weren’t the best, ok lets be honest, they were the worst they have been this year!

I could have easily avoided consuming way too much food and sugar, but due to feeling incredibly tired, run down, bored and frustrated, I went with Plan B!

My Ego loves Plan B, it means it can eat whatever it wants ( usually highly processed food ), skip yoga, not exercise, avoid study, be super lazy and watch TV.

When I woke up yesterday morning, I knew something wasn’t right, my mood was flat, I felt like I had burnt the candle at both ends.

And it makes sense, looking at my calendar, for the last 6 nights, I’d been out every night socialising with different friends.

I had pushed myself both physically and mentally, eating rich food, consuming alcohol, not getting enough sleep, starting a new job and leaving no free time to be on my own to recharge, it was inevitable that my mood would suffer as a consequence!

Looking back on it, now in a positive head space, yesterday I deliberately ignored all the warning signs that lead me to revert back to old ways of destructive thinking and behaving.

Rather than meditate that morning to gain wisdom on how to be loving towards myself, I slept in.

Rather than cycle to work which would have given me a big fat injection of serotonin ( happy chemicals ) to improve my mood, I drove my car.

Rather than make a healthy lunch knowing that when I am tired I always crave sugar, so best to be prepared, I ended up buying processed food.

Rather than go to yoga knowing that it always helps me feel more grounded and balanced, I sat on the couch and watched TV.

Sometimes we have these ‘not so good’ days, and you know what, it’s ok, we’re not perfect! Having an awareness of the choices and actions you make is what stops the destructive behaviour in the future and allows positive change to take place.

Before being self aware, I would unconsciously self sabotage my health and wellbeing for days!

I would continue to act out in ways that weren’t loving towards my body and mind, constantly craving things externally for happiness, rather than loving who I was.

I simply just needed to stop, breathe and tune in, allowing my body to rest, allowing my mind to safely process whatever was going on!

Most of the time we know exactly what is good for us, yet sometimes we have days where we choose to go with Plan B instead. For me, I know that when I take on too much, my internal battery loses power very quickly, and its super important that I don’t ignore the flashing red light!

When my mind tells me to make good choices for my body, I need to listen and act accordingly, not ignore it, which is what I did today.

By choosing to do what is best, meditate, cycle to work, eat healthy, have time to myself, take a long hot bath, I’m choosing to love who i am.

When you choose to love who you are, you choose to love life! And when you choose to love life, the sugar cravings fade. x

Being certain of uncertainty

lifestyle-75-of-104-copyWhen retuning from India, a couple of months ago, I felt pretty certain that my life would become beautifully balanced, easily achieving everything I wanted.

I’d spend a small amount of my savings on making my dream business a reality.

I’d work part time for a creative, ethical based company doing administration and I’d teach meditation part time for a well known, non for profit organisation.

I’d be living the dream! Well my dream anyway. 

In the last few months, its become very apparent that my dream wasn’t what the Universe wanted. Instead its taken my idea and varied it slightly, well more like injected it with steroids! 

I’ve now spent a large amount of my savings on making my dream business a reality, investing in multiple online courses for both business and coaching.

I’ve just recently accepted full time work as an administrator back in Education ( even though I said, after quitting my job, that I wouldn’t go back to a school… or work full time for someone else, my intuition said yes )

AND on top of that, I just got confirmation today that next month I’ll be teaching weekly meditation classes ( my own style ) at a local yoga studio in Melbourne, which seriously makes my heart light up!

So no surprise really, that my mind feels a bit overwhelmed today! Have I over estimated my capability as a human being, taking on way too much?

Will I still be able to catch up with friends, attend yoga classes, read a book, possibly date someone AND most importantly, have time to be on my own to just chill?

Or is everything exactly how it’s meant to be, right in this very moment and I just need to trust the process, be grateful and smile! 🙂

In all honesty it’s a lot more than I had anticipated, however if you read my blog you know I love a good challenge! Surely I can work full time, teach meditation classes, plus complete multiple online courses all within the the next 6-12 months without having some sort of melt down?

Human beings all over the world juggle full time work, whilst trying to create their dream business, and most have a couple kids and a partner, at least I’m single and free to do as I please! 

Being Self Aware is learning to not have an attachment to certainty, but instead being a witness to life as it constantly unfolds and changes.

This is why I love Meditation, it not only helps you calm down but it brings you back to a state of pure awareness.

Reminding you that every moment, feeling, thought, emotion, always passes if we simple just observe, let go and just be.

And in each breathe, in the stillness, even when life gets crazy, you always find peace. x

How to avoid visiting the kitchen when feeling emotional!

lifestyle-1-of-104-copyYesterday I had a ‘feeling crap’ day!

My thought process went a little something like this… ‘Seriously Camille, you’re such a failure! I knew you’d gain weight overseas in just one week! You have no will power when it comes to social occasions! Look at your body, it’s so disgusting. Why did you eat all that wedding cake and drink all that booze? You know having those things makes you feel like crap. You deserve to gain weight and feel miserable. You don’t deserve being happy!’

Wow!! Talk about hating on myself!

But the pity party didn’t stop there!

As I sat in bed, scrolling through Facebook, my mind continued ‘You are so deluded Camille, you will never be successful compared to others, you are not smart enough, pretty enough, lovable enough, just give up and accept that you’ll always work for someone else in a job you dislike, you’re not talented, get over yourself!’

Then I found myself standing in my kitchen. Not just once, but time and time again!

Thinking I was hungry, I’d make something to eat, go back in to my bedroom, feel better for a few minutes, but then the mind would find a new negative thought and abracadabra, I’d be back in the kitchen again!

For me, food has always been my no#1 source of comfort. It’s easy to access, tastes good and doesn’t talk back.

But most of the time its not hunger, its just an internal craving for love.

When I love myself, I don’t crave food, actually I don’t even think about it!

I realised when I found myself in my kitchen ( way too many times! ) I just needed to get out of the house, go to yoga and speak to a friend!

And that I did! I cycled to yoga, attended a class and instantly felt better because I was doing something loving for my body and mind. Then I called a friend, and instantly felt better because she too had been having a feeling crap day, so we laughed about how ridiculous it was, seeing we are beautiful, smart, wise beings!

So if you are having a feeling crap day, exit the kitchen ASAP and do something loving for your body and mind!

Go for a walk, do yoga, dance, write, call a friend, sit in a park, read a book, have a massage… whatever it takes to get out of the kitchen and distract those waste of time, negative thoughts ruining your day!

When you do something loving for your Self, the negative thoughts fade away. So why not do something loving for your Self every day! x