How to date…honestly

A photo by Alejandro Escamilla. it comes to dating, there are so many articles out there with rules around how you should behave, especially in the early stages of dating ( I know I’ve read the books and Googled it ).

For women, we are told to refrain from making contact, that it’s better if you allow the man to chase you. We are told to pretty much remain quiet at the start, let him make the decisions, be available, but not too available.

In other words get on with your life and when you do hear from him, refrain from being needy, instead be sweet, fun and easy breezy.

Now there is an element of this that I do agree with, you do seem to get a stronger indication if a guy is interested if you let him take lead, but there is also an element of this I find challenging, as it requires me to hold back from being authentic, from being 100% real.

Having to question what I want to say and behave so that I don’t scare a guy off is me having to filter who I am, in order to make someone else happy.

Today, my new experience was that rather than filter myself, I decided to break the dating rules and openly share with the man I am seeing, what I wanted and needed when it comes to communication.

What I’ve realised is that when you start dating someone, you are not just dating another person, you are dating another mind with different thoughts, beliefs and behaviours. And there is a good chance, the way you think is going to be different, especially between a man and a woman. ( Men are from Mars, Woman are from Venus by John Gray- a must read when it comes to this topic! )

From my personal experience, in order for a relationship to work, it is vital that both people involve are allowed to speak truthfully about anything and everything they choose to express in order for the relationship to grow authentically.

When it comes to dating, my advice is don’t be afraid to be real, love who you are, and if the two of you are meant to be together, each present moment will create the space for you to happily continue seeing each other 🙂

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