How to avoid an anxiety attack when updating your profile pic!


Do you ever experience mild symptoms of a panic attack when updating your profile picture on Facebook?

After you hit send, your heart starts beating faster, palms slightly sweaty, mind racing with preconceived ideas of how it will be judged now that it’s out there for all to see?

I noticed this today when uploading a new photo, and I was really taken back by how one simple task could have such a massive impact on my emotions and sensations in the body.

And the reason it did wasn’t because of the task itself, selecting a photo and hitting the send button is not physically demanding, it’s the thought process behind it, that’s what always causes all the drama!

As soon as I hit send, unconsciously my body started reacting to my thoughts as they were mainly based around worry and fear.

What will my friends think, will they like it or hate it?

Am I not smiling enough, should I pick a different photo even though I like this one?

Is wearing black a depressing colour, should I upload a photo of me wearing a lighter top instead?

And off my thoughts go, rather than just enjoying the present moment, feeling calm and happy, my thoughts want to create all this stress and drama… that’s if I allow them to, this is the big difference!

Emotions you feel in the body are always an after effect of a thought that takes place in your mind. For example if you think happy thoughts, you feel good. If you think negative thoughts, you feel bad. Simple psychology 101.

Having an awareness of your thoughts is what then helps you manage how you feel. Simply put, if you don’t get caught up in your thoughts, you won’t get caught up in your emotions.

As soon as I noticed my body reacting in a way that didn’t feel comfortable at all, I took a moment to become aware of my thoughts.

As I noticed my mind getting caught up with negative self talk, I took a deep breath, allowed my body to relax and then smiled.

Smiling is my new favourite thing to do whenever I notice that I’m reacting to my negative mind. What it does is magic, it tricks the mind in to thinking you are happy, which then helps the thought process to change.

As soon as I make myself smile, I then want to laugh. When I laugh at myself I realise how ridiculous my mind can get, especially when doing the simplest of tasks, like uploading a photo on Facebook.

When I smile, it brings me back to a feeling of love. Love for who I am.

My mind then thinks positive thoughts, ‘You look beautiful Camille’, ‘You are doing so well with everything at the moment, you should feel proud of yourself’, ‘Your friends will love you regardless of your FB photo, because that’s what friends do’.

When my thoughts become kind, my body feels relaxed and at ease.

If you ever find your mind and heart racing due to anxiety and fear, try to smile.

It’s a simple, yet powerful tool to bring you back to a feeling of love. 🙂

Put down the sugar… it’s going to be ok

sugarYesterday my food and lifestyle choices weren’t the best, ok lets be honest, they were the worst they have been this year!

I could have easily avoided consuming way too much food and sugar, but due to feeling incredibly tired, run down, bored and frustrated, I went with Plan B!

My Ego loves Plan B, it means it can eat whatever it wants ( usually highly processed food ), skip yoga, not exercise, avoid study, be super lazy and watch TV.

When I woke up yesterday morning, I knew something wasn’t right, my mood was flat, I felt like I had burnt the candle at both ends.

And it makes sense, looking at my calendar, for the last 6 nights, I’d been out every night socialising with different friends.

I had pushed myself both physically and mentally, eating rich food, consuming alcohol, not getting enough sleep, starting a new job and leaving no free time to be on my own to recharge, it was inevitable that my mood would suffer as a consequence!

Looking back on it, now in a positive head space, yesterday I deliberately ignored all the warning signs that lead me to revert back to old ways of destructive thinking and behaving.

Rather than meditate that morning to gain wisdom on how to be loving towards myself, I slept in.

Rather than cycle to work which would have given me a big fat injection of serotonin ( happy chemicals ) to improve my mood, I drove my car.

Rather than make a healthy lunch knowing that when I am tired I always crave sugar, so best to be prepared, I ended up buying processed food.

Rather than go to yoga knowing that it always helps me feel more grounded and balanced, I sat on the couch and watched TV.

Sometimes we have these ‘not so good’ days, and you know what, it’s ok, we’re not perfect! Having an awareness of the choices and actions you make is what stops the destructive behaviour in the future and allows positive change to take place.

Before being self aware, I would unconsciously self sabotage my health and wellbeing for days!

I would continue to act out in ways that weren’t loving towards my body and mind, constantly craving things externally for happiness, rather than loving who I was.

I simply just needed to stop, breathe and tune in, allowing my body to rest, allowing my mind to safely process whatever was going on!

Most of the time we know exactly what is good for us, yet sometimes we have days where we choose to go with Plan B instead. For me, I know that when I take on too much, my internal battery loses power very quickly, and its super important that I don’t ignore the flashing red light!

When my mind tells me to make good choices for my body, I need to listen and act accordingly, not ignore it, which is what I did today.

By choosing to do what is best, meditate, cycle to work, eat healthy, have time to myself, take a long hot bath, I’m choosing to love who i am.

When you choose to love who you are, you choose to love life! And when you choose to love life, the sugar cravings fade. x

Being certain of uncertainty

lifestyle-75-of-104-copyWhen retuning from India, a couple of months ago, I felt pretty certain that my life would become beautifully balanced, easily achieving everything I wanted.

I’d spend a small amount of my savings on making my dream business a reality.

I’d work part time for a creative, ethical based company doing administration and I’d teach meditation part time for a well known, non for profit organisation.

I’d be living the dream! Well my dream anyway. 

In the last few months, its become very apparent that my dream wasn’t what the Universe wanted. Instead its taken my idea and varied it slightly, well more like injected it with steroids! 

I’ve now spent a large amount of my savings on making my dream business a reality, investing in multiple online courses for both business and coaching.

I’ve just recently accepted full time work as an administrator back in Education ( even though I said, after quitting my job, that I wouldn’t go back to a school… or work full time for someone else, my intuition said yes )

AND on top of that, I just got confirmation today that next month I’ll be teaching weekly meditation classes ( my own style ) at a local yoga studio in Melbourne, which seriously makes my heart light up!

So no surprise really, that my mind feels a bit overwhelmed today! Have I over estimated my capability as a human being, taking on way too much?

Will I still be able to catch up with friends, attend yoga classes, read a book, possibly date someone AND most importantly, have time to be on my own to just chill?

Or is everything exactly how it’s meant to be, right in this very moment and I just need to trust the process, be grateful and smile! 🙂

In all honesty it’s a lot more than I had anticipated, however if you read my blog you know I love a good challenge! Surely I can work full time, teach meditation classes, plus complete multiple online courses all within the the next 6-12 months without having some sort of melt down?

Human beings all over the world juggle full time work, whilst trying to create their dream business, and most have a couple kids and a partner, at least I’m single and free to do as I please! 

Being Self Aware is learning to not have an attachment to certainty, but instead being a witness to life as it constantly unfolds and changes.

This is why I love Meditation, it not only helps you calm down but it brings you back to a state of pure awareness.

Reminding you that every moment, feeling, thought, emotion, always passes if we simple just observe, let go and just be.

And in each breathe, in the stillness, even when life gets crazy, you always find peace. x

Delete the list of Rules!

A photo by Luis Llerena. can I do TODAY in order to love WHO I AM? This is the question I ask myself every morning before I start the day. It’s a simple question, that for me has been life changing, which is why I wanted to share it with you!

For decades I have never asked myself this simple question, instead I went about my day, operating on old thought and belief systems that involved A LOT of future planning ( mainly around trying to fix myself ) in order to be happy.

Some past examples of this

  • Making RULES around exercising every day after work, no excuses, don’t be LAZY!
  • Making RULES around what I ate, no sugar, no carbs, no booze, all VERY BAD FOR YOU!
  • Making RULES around getting my ass to at least 2 yoga classes, don’t WASTE your monthly membership!
  • Making RULES around how much time spent on Facebook & watching TV, an hour a day is enough, don’t waste your time STARING AT A SCREEN!
  • Making RULES around meditating for 20 mins twice a day, if you don’t, you’re NOT SPIRITUAL ENOUGH and shouldn’t be a meditation teacher!

Wow, just reading that list makes me feel soooo exhausted, no wonder I used to feel anxious and frustrated with myself all the time, I had so many expectations to live up to in order to be ‘happy’!

So here is whats changed, rather than future planning every aspect of my life, I now simply focus on what I need to do TODAY in order to be 100% authentic and happy! BOOM! LIFE CHANGING!

By focusing just on TODAY, all the stress and anxiety I had around my life has dissolved away! Life has become WAY more manageable. I feel so happy and loved, and am continually amazed at all the wonderful things that happen to me EVERY DAY, simply by choosing to live this way!

So here is my advice, take your weekly, monthly list of RULES and DELETE, DELETE, DELETE!

Instead start your day with 1 simple question- What can I do TODAY to LOVE WHO I AM?

To get the answer- close your eyes, breathe and take a few moments to let go of all the negative crap and wait patiently for the positive, helpful stuff to rise ( this is called Self Awareness/mindfulness/meditation ). Then write down the first 2 or 3 helpful things that come to mind, and make that your focus for today. SIMPLE!

This could still include, go for a walk, have a healthy day of eating, get your ass to a yoga class. But if you FEEL, in order to LOVE who you are, this is what you need to do TODAY, then you are much more inclined to do it with a smile on your face! 🙂

Don’t worry about what you need or should be doing in the future in order to be happy, that sh*t is stressful, especially seeing the future is never certain due to life constantly changing!!

Love who you are! Enjoy today!

Be happy! Have fun! Enjoy the ride! x

Making a sexy smooth electronic love mix!

A photo by Lee  Campbell. I woke up this morning, my plan was to complete online course work that’s due in a few days, but in choosing to take my own recent advice to live in the moment, I ended up sitting on the couch all day listening to music.

Now at first I struggled with it because A, I wasn’t doing what I had planned ( I love being in control ) and B, by just sitting back and not doing much at all, I felt incredibly guilty for being ‘what my mind thought was’ lazy!

But by letting go ( some call this following charm ) in the end, I had one of the most chilled out relaxing days I’ve had in a really long time! Guilt free because I allowed myself to let go of what I think I ‘should’ be doing, and trust that my intuition knows whats best for me in the present moment!

Tomorrow I still have time to complete the course work, so it will get done. But instead, I will now feel much more relaxed, having spent today indulging my soul and creating a awesome playlist, which is what I love most!

If you are like me, and love sexy, smooth, chilled out electronic music that makes you feel all loved up and awesome, below is the playlist I created on Soundcloud, made with love, that I wanted to share with you all. ( You see, I actually ended up having a very productive day! )

Maybe you can take some time out this weekend to put on some tunes, chill out, just be and see where it leads!

Enjoy x



Living in the NOW!

Photo on 10-03-2016 at 10.32 PM #2.jpgAfter doing a pretty crazy 6 days of silent meditation, I just spent the last 2-3 hours freestyle journaling my deepest darkest thoughts on life. During the process I came to the realisation that the mistake I continue to make is trying to plan my ‘perfect’ future, which is pretty bloody stupid when the universal law of nature is that nothing is ever permanent, everything is constantly changing!

This means that even if I plan out my really awesome future there is a very good chance, on a daily basis, it won’t turn out the way I want, leaving me feeling stressed and frustrated, emotions I would rather live without!

So I came up with with brilliant idea! What if, rather than spending so much time planning my awesome future, that is never a guarantee, I handed it over to the laws of nature and just focused on enjoying the present moment, which for me always seems to be pretty chilled out and awesome!

I wrote down this mental note to myself- ‘ Camille, it’s time to start living in the NOW. Stop worrying about the future, stop hiding from the world until you feel you are perfect enough to be heard or seen. Use your passion for blogging on Todayiloved to be the change you want to see in the world! Make it your focus to live in the now, write about it, and see what happens. What have you got to lose? You’re currently unemployed, and who know’s what next job will be offered, it may be great, it may be shit! Who cares, life is always changing and you have all the wisdom within, so allow the NOW to give you all the answers you need.’

I closed my notebook and noticed the front cover ( which I honestly didn’t notice before picking it up ) and laughed. It said ‘ Life is Always NOW’. I think I just got the confirmation I needed.

So here’s to NOT thinking if I should send this post or not, if I should post this photo or not, because I’m sure there could always be a thousand better ones!

Here’s to taking the first step in being fearless, listening to my intution and choosing to do what feels right, even if not perfect, right now. x