When I woke up this morning I felt really run down, similar to a hangover but without booze, not much energy, a bit moody, if I was employed, I would have wanted to call in sick.
Why had I woken up feeling this way when other days I had woken up feeling great? What was really going on, what was I really feeling, really thinking?
In the past I would have just accepted feeling shitty, blamed it on work or how I looked, ate crap foods to feel better, and waited for it to pass, which sometimes took up to 3 days.
But then I remembered that my true nature, within me, is not grumpy pants, my true nature, within me, is love.
So I sat in bed and took a moment to become a witness to what was going on within me, witness my thoughts and emotions. By doing this I quickly noticed that there was a huge amount of doubt and fear around my capability, the classic ‘I am not good enough, so what’s the point!’
I noticed I felt hopeless, like maybe I was over my head with creating my own business, attempting to make my dreams a reality.
I noticed that I felt useless, I felt lost and I felt alone.
Limiting thoughts and beliefs, all within me, draining my energy, making me feel shit about myself.
So rather than stay home in bed and help my Ego put together a pity party, I jumped on my bike and cycled to a creative, communal office space ( which has a meditation room ), giving myself the space to allow conscious flow.
When I meditated in this space this morning, I was able to dedicate more time to dive deeper into how I was really feeling. Closing the eyes, I was able to become a witness again to any thoughts and feelings that arose.
Once again the thought ‘I feel so alone’ came to mind, but this time I noticed tears building up in my eyes. I had no idea that I felt such deep sadness around this one simple thought.
So how do you stop a negative thought that feels so real? You don’t, you just allow time to sit with it, don’t try to suppress it or ignore it, just be a loving witness, until it passes. And it always passes. No thought is ever permanent, they are constantly changing.
This is what meditation allows you to do, be awareness of your thoughts as they rise and fall. This is why meditation is such an awesome tool to help overcome depression, stress and anxiety.
Rather than get caught up in emotions, you just watch them, let them do what they need to do, and notice that you are actually separate from them. You are all good 🙂
Your true nature is not your thoughts or beliefs, but simply loving self awareness watching the show.