How to avoid visiting the kitchen when feeling emotional!

lifestyle-1-of-104-copyYesterday I had a ‘feeling crap’ day!

My thought process went a little something like this… ‘Seriously Camille, you’re such a failure! I knew you’d gain weight overseas in just one week! You have no will power when it comes to social occasions! Look at your body, it’s so disgusting. Why did you eat all that wedding cake and drink all that booze? You know having those things makes you feel like crap. You deserve to gain weight and feel miserable. You don’t deserve being happy!’

Wow!! Talk about hating on myself!

But the pity party didn’t stop there!

As I sat in bed, scrolling through Facebook, my mind continued ‘You are so deluded Camille, you will never be successful compared to others, you are not smart enough, pretty enough, lovable enough, just give up and accept that you’ll always work for someone else in a job you dislike, you’re not talented, get over yourself!’

Then I found myself standing in my kitchen. Not just once, but time and time again!

Thinking I was hungry, I’d make something to eat, go back in to my bedroom, feel better for a few minutes, but then the mind would find a new negative thought and abracadabra, I’d be back in the kitchen again!

For me, food has always been my no#1 source of comfort. It’s easy to access, tastes good and doesn’t talk back.

But most of the time its not hunger, its just an internal craving for love.

When I love myself, I don’t crave food, actually I don’t even think about it!

I realised when I found myself in my kitchen ( way too many times! ) I just needed to get out of the house, go to yoga and speak to a friend!

And that I did! I cycled to yoga, attended a class and instantly felt better because I was doing something loving for my body and mind. Then I called a friend, and instantly felt better because she too had been having a feeling crap day, so we laughed about how ridiculous it was, seeing we are beautiful, smart, wise beings!

So if you are having a feeling crap day, exit the kitchen ASAP and do something loving for your body and mind!

Go for a walk, do yoga, dance, write, call a friend, sit in a park, read a book, have a massage… whatever it takes to get out of the kitchen and distract those waste of time, negative thoughts ruining your day!

When you do something loving for your Self, the negative thoughts fade away. So why not do something loving for your Self every day! x

Ditching my grumpy pants!

lifestyle-3-of-104When I woke up this morning I felt really run down, similar to a hangover but without booze, not much energy, a bit moody, if I was employed, I would have wanted to call in sick.

Why had I woken up feeling this way when other days I had woken up feeling great? What was really going on, what was I really feeling, really thinking?

In the past I would have just accepted feeling shitty, blamed it on work or how I looked, ate crap foods to feel better, and waited for it to pass, which sometimes took up to 3 days.

But then I remembered that my true nature, within me, is not grumpy pants, my true nature, within me, is love.

So I sat in bed and took a moment to become a witness to what was going on within me, witness my thoughts and emotions. By doing this I quickly noticed that there was a huge amount of doubt and fear around my capability, the classic ‘I am not good enough, so what’s the point!’

I noticed I felt hopeless, like maybe I was over my head with creating my own business, attempting to make my dreams a reality.

I noticed that I felt useless, I felt lost and I felt alone.

Limiting thoughts and beliefs, all within me, draining my energy, making me feel shit about myself.

So rather than stay home in bed and help my Ego put together a pity party, I jumped on my bike and cycled to a creative, communal office space ( which has a meditation room ), giving myself the space to allow conscious flow.

When I meditated in this space this morning, I was able to dedicate more time to dive deeper into how I was really feeling. Closing the eyes, I was able to become a witness again to any thoughts and feelings that arose.

Once again the thought ‘I feel so alone’ came to mind, but this time I noticed tears building up in my eyes. I had no idea that I felt such deep sadness around this one simple thought.

So how do you stop a negative thought that feels so real? You don’t, you just allow time to sit with it, don’t try to suppress it or ignore it, just be a loving witness, until it passes. And it always passes. No thought is ever permanent, they are constantly changing.

This is what meditation allows you to do, be awareness of your thoughts as they rise and fall. This is why meditation is such an awesome tool to help overcome depression, stress and anxiety.

Rather than get caught up in emotions, you just watch them, let them do what they need to do, and notice that you are actually separate from them. You are all good 🙂

Your true nature is not your thoughts or beliefs, but simply loving self awareness watching the show.


Overcoming anxiety when dating!

dating-2Since returning from India, without any effort at all, I have attracted a number of men into my life who have shown romantic interest in me, some new, some from the past.

Due to my current unemployed ‘in between careers’ status, I actually had no desire or intention of dating anyone for awhile, but… in choosing to live life in flow, being 100% open to whatever comes my way, a few days ago I said yes to a date next week, out of curiosity to see where it goes.

The thing I find about dating is this, it can be rather shit if you let it be! Lets take a simple text message for an example.

This morning I had this desire to send a text to the guy I am seeing next week, just a simple text message wishing him a nice day. But rather than feeling good about my choice in doing so, trusting that my heart had good intentions and to just go with it, instead I quickly noticed the fear kick in.

It went a little something like this… Is it too early to send a text since we only spoke two days ago?

Am I breaking the rules by sending a text, should I instead let him chase me?

Would he freak out getting a text from me so early on a Sunday morning, thinking maybe I was obsessed with him?

A whole lot of bullshit fear came rushing in, taking over my beautiful idea of simply sending a loving thought to him.

This feeling of fear took over the feeling of love. I noticed it also brought up my past feelings of shame and regret from when I had put myself out there and then didn’t get a response, especially within a time frame I wanted ( which for me is always straight away! )

Having these old beliefs, ideas, expectations is what makes dating hard. But it shouldn’t be hard, you should be able to enjoy it!

So to enjoy dating, you need to let go of the fear and expectation and put the focus back on love, especially loving yourself.

Rather than freaking out and telling yourself you are not good enough because he hasn’t responded to your message, tell yourself that you are perfect, beautiful and the most lovable person on this planet!

Don’t waste a moment worrying about it, get on with living the amazing life you were put on this planet to live.

Your true being will attract the right soul for you, so it’s all good, there is honestly nothing to worry about as long as you stay 100% true to yourself!

When you let the fear and anxiety in, the love diminishes. Don’t let another person make you forget that your true being is pure love.

Be aware of the feelings and emotions arise in the body, sit with them, connect to the negative thoughts and observe how stupid they are!

Tell yourself that you are love, your true being is love and love attracts love. Take some time to meditate on this, connecting with the inner part of yourself that is wise, strong, beautiful and courageous.

Never feel shame around showing love to others, even if you don’t receive it back. Keep loving everything that you do, enjoy the feeling, enjoy the moments, life is to be enjoyed, enjoy life!

PS. He did send me a message back ( within an hour ) and it was all good 🙂